Friday, June 15, 2012

Selfish or Selfless?

It's gone viral- a commencement address that tells the graduates that " You're not special!"  Why do you think this has been viewed by so many with few contradicting the statements made in this speech?  Maybe because we have let ourselves raise a generation of selfish children.

No one will argue that children are born  with the "me syndrome."  Even as teenagers, youth are self focused, believing that everyone is looking at them. These are normal developmental stages.  Our job as parents is to teach our children to grow into selfless adults who give back to their world. We need to teach children that real giving is done with no strings attached.  Giving should be done without expecting recognition or reward. Giving should not be about how much money you can spare.  It's also not about just giving things away that you no longer want.  A gift should not be measured by the size, but rather its meaning.

How can we teach children these things?  Families need to make giving a part of everyday life.  It may start with teaching your children how to share.  Then it can be involving them in choosing gifts for birthdays or Christmas.  Parents can model random acts of kindness.  Children should also be setting aside some of their own money to be given to charity.  Help them learn about different organizations serving others and how they can become involved.  When it's possible and age appropriate, explain to them about other people's needs.

I won't argue that children have to become aware of themselves and feel important and loved.  But I think we can all do better when it comes to helping youth grow into caring, giving, selfless adults.  If we begin by modeling this type of behavior in our own families, our children will stand a better chance of becoming selfless, not selfish!






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