Helping our Children Achieve Success

     What I want to address this week is "helping our children to achieve success."  I don't deem success for my own children as individual accomplishments.  Instead, my own goal as a parent is to help my children aquire the skills needed to become successful over their lifetime.  Their successes may be in academics, sports or career development.  However, what I want most for all children, is that they are successful in their own growth and in their personal relationships.

     The first thing I want to remind parents is that before children can achieve success, their basic needs must be met.  This means they must get enough sleep, good nutrition and be in good health.  For school success, children must have a regular bedtime and eat breakfast before school.  Keeping a regular routine also helps a child be prepared to learn at school.

     After parents and their children prioritize and set goals, children need motivation to achieve.  This motivation should come from both inside the child and from external encouragement.  Remember that goals should not be set through comparisons to siblings or schoolmates.  Instead, a child's goals should be to show learning, growth and improvement in that particular skill over a time period. 

     A child needs to learn that failure is acceptable.  Most people can not be perfect at anything on their first try. Children who are perfectionists, may be the most afraid to try new skills.  Parents need to convey unconditional love and acceptance.  We also need to help the child set realistic expectations that are neither too high or too low. Children need to know that failure is a part of life and an opportunity to learn from our mistakes.

     Finally, children who aquire the abilities to work hard, persevere and practice may end up being more successful than others who are actually more gifted. In addition, the skills of prioritizing, being organized and using time management will also play a role in your child's success.  Children must also be able to take direction, listen to constructive criticism and not be afraid to ask for help.

     Remember, our job as parents isn't to help our children bring home the best report card in school or to accumulate trophies.  Instead, we should be preparing our children to grow, learn and better themselves over their own lifetime.  It's then, that we have really taught our children to achieve success.