Last night our local Little League softball team played the Sauquoit Angels. It was a really good game. Not only was it close and played well by both teams, but more significant, was an act of obvious integrity by the Sauquoit third baseman.
This is what happened. Sauquoit was leading by several runs. We had a runner going to third. The ball was thrown to third, caught by the third baseman and the umpire called the runner out. Our own coach, who was at third base, pointed out that the baseman didn't tag the base. The umpire again called, "Out!"
It was then that a brave third baseman (probably 11 or 12 years old), spoke up. She told the umpire that indeed, she had missed the bag. I think this girl set a great example for all the other players, coaches and spectators. She could of remained quiet and let the play stand. Umpires can never be right all of the time. Instead she chose to speak up and make things right. This definately turned the tide for our team as we caught up in that inning.
The game continued and ended in our loss to Sauquoit by just one run. Many of our players were emotional and disappointed. It was their first loss of the season. I hope that what the girls remember is not that they lost the game, but instead that the opposing team member spoke up on their behalf. Hopefully, this is a lesson they will carry on into their own lives when the stakes are sometimes highter than in a Little League game.
Friday, May 18, 2012
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Parents can not be perfect----
Let's face it- we all have things we've done as parents that we regret. There are times we question our interactions with our children and wonder whether we are dong anything right. Often, we have high expectations for our children, our family and ourselves. We tend to "beat ourselves up," when things aren't going the way we want.
Children are each born with their own personality traits. I believe our job as parents is to help them develop their own traits and personality in a way that will benefit themselves and the people around them. Some traits can be more positive than others. Often, negative traits can be channeled into actions that can have positive results. For example, a stubborn child can learn to use that trait to complete hard tasks and not give up. A child's temper can be turned into a passion to change wrongs in the world.
None of us are perfect; child nor parent. We have to be aware of that fact daily as we interact with each other. When we make a mistake, we must first admit it and give a heartfelt apology. We can then try to change the action that is wrong and model this to our children. For example, we may let our emotions get out of control when dealing with a defiant child. If we respond by escalating the conflict and using behavior and words that we later regret, we need to acknowledge that we were wrong. If we apologize, but keep making the same mistake over again, our children will see our words as meaningless.
I'm not saying that we should give in to a child that is behaving badly. We need to set clear expectations with consequences if the child misbehaves. But when we deal with a defiant child, we need to remain calm, objective and loving as we deal with the behavior. Children also need to know that we love them unconditionally.
I also think we should choose our battles carefully. Sometimes we parents can be stubborn on issues that really don't matter in the long run. Think about whether the behavior is harmful to the child or others. Sometimes, communicating with the child to find ways to address the issue can be helpful. We may find that the behavior is really connected to something else that we were totally unaware of.
Finally, parents should not carry guilt over mistakes made. Like we tell our children, " you can not change the past." You should focus on how you want to behave or what you want to achieve now.
Children are each born with their own personality traits. I believe our job as parents is to help them develop their own traits and personality in a way that will benefit themselves and the people around them. Some traits can be more positive than others. Often, negative traits can be channeled into actions that can have positive results. For example, a stubborn child can learn to use that trait to complete hard tasks and not give up. A child's temper can be turned into a passion to change wrongs in the world.
None of us are perfect; child nor parent. We have to be aware of that fact daily as we interact with each other. When we make a mistake, we must first admit it and give a heartfelt apology. We can then try to change the action that is wrong and model this to our children. For example, we may let our emotions get out of control when dealing with a defiant child. If we respond by escalating the conflict and using behavior and words that we later regret, we need to acknowledge that we were wrong. If we apologize, but keep making the same mistake over again, our children will see our words as meaningless.
I'm not saying that we should give in to a child that is behaving badly. We need to set clear expectations with consequences if the child misbehaves. But when we deal with a defiant child, we need to remain calm, objective and loving as we deal with the behavior. Children also need to know that we love them unconditionally.
I also think we should choose our battles carefully. Sometimes we parents can be stubborn on issues that really don't matter in the long run. Think about whether the behavior is harmful to the child or others. Sometimes, communicating with the child to find ways to address the issue can be helpful. We may find that the behavior is really connected to something else that we were totally unaware of.
Finally, parents should not carry guilt over mistakes made. Like we tell our children, " you can not change the past." You should focus on how you want to behave or what you want to achieve now.
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