I've been reading about all the advantages for children whose families make it a habit to eat meals together. Children who eat with their families tend to do better academically; are less likely to abuse drugs, alcohol or tobacco; usually eat healthier diets; are less likely to be promiscuous; and most importantly form a better bond with their family members.
There are advantages for the whole family as well. Home prepared meals are usually less expensive. The whole family can share in meal preparation and cleanup. By doing this, the children also learn important life skills. But the most important result can be improved family communication. Even scheduling can become easier by going over the week's calendar together.
How can we do this you ask? We have no time to eat together. First of all, it doesn't have to be dinner and it doesn't have to be everyday. It could be snack time after school. It could be breakfast before work. The important thing is to find sometime that will work for your family.
Then I'd suggest this be a time sitting at a table with no interruptions allowed: no cell phones, no electronic games, and no Ipods etc. At first, it may seem awkward and people may have nothing to say. Sometimes it's best to ask specific questions. Rather than, " How was school?" You may ask, " How's your science project coming?"
Family "table time" can be a rewarding experience. I encourage your family to try this if you don't already take time to eat together. Don't give up if it doesn't go well at first. Kids may balk at the idea. But please, give it a try and I think you'll find unlimited rewards for your family and children.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
But Mommmmm- I need this------
How many times have our children said to us, "Mom (Dad), I really need this!" Sometimes they are talking about the latest fashion. Other times it's the newest electronic gadget. Or maybe it's the most expensive cell phone and/or plan. For middle and upper class parents, it's just so easy to give in and buy our children "what they need." But is that really what is best for them?
I believe that from toddlerhood, we need to teach our children the difference between wants and needs. Toddlerhood you ask? Yes, how many times do we tell the big brother/sister to give in to their younger sibling when they are whining that they need the toy their sibling is playing with? When our children go to school and they see the latest fashions and bookbags, do we rush out and buy those for them? As they become teens, do we stretch the family budget to give our children everything they need so they will fit in with the cool crowd?
Stop and think. How will our children learn to set priorities and work towards goals if we give them everything they "need?" Instead, what about suggesting that they write down a plan for purchasing the thing that they desperately think they need. This can also help to avoid the pitfalls of children growing up needing instant gratification.
You may ask how an elementary school child can save up for their own purchases. Many children get birthday or Christmas money. You may allow the child to clean and return bottles. Children can get a small payment for doing extra work such as raking the lawn. I think saving and budgeting is a whole topic to discuss at another time. The point is, do our children know the difference between a want and a need? Or do we jump to provide every little request that our child makes?
I believe that from toddlerhood, we need to teach our children the difference between wants and needs. Toddlerhood you ask? Yes, how many times do we tell the big brother/sister to give in to their younger sibling when they are whining that they need the toy their sibling is playing with? When our children go to school and they see the latest fashions and bookbags, do we rush out and buy those for them? As they become teens, do we stretch the family budget to give our children everything they need so they will fit in with the cool crowd?
Stop and think. How will our children learn to set priorities and work towards goals if we give them everything they "need?" Instead, what about suggesting that they write down a plan for purchasing the thing that they desperately think they need. This can also help to avoid the pitfalls of children growing up needing instant gratification.
You may ask how an elementary school child can save up for their own purchases. Many children get birthday or Christmas money. You may allow the child to clean and return bottles. Children can get a small payment for doing extra work such as raking the lawn. I think saving and budgeting is a whole topic to discuss at another time. The point is, do our children know the difference between a want and a need? Or do we jump to provide every little request that our child makes?
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
First and Foremost----
What is it that children need???It seems like common sense, but often I see children who don't have these things: food, shelter, clean clothing, safety and love in their lives. How do we get all parents to place their priorities on providing for their children's needs first? How many of us see parents who smoke, drink, play the lottery, do drugs and buy themselves the latest gadget before they make sure their children are provided for?
There are safety nets available in our society. They may not make any family rich- but families can apply for food stamps, heating assistance, free medical and dental care and even subsidies for child care. Many communities have a food pantry where emergency food can be provided. There are second hand shops where anyone can buy good used clothing at a fraction of the cost of new clothes. Then there are people in communities who help needy families especially on hoilidays. It is sad that with all these opportunities for help, there are still children whose basic needs are not being met.
I am afraid that very few of these parents will ever change. ( Although I personally know of a parent who turned her life around and does a great job of providing for her children.) Where do we start? I think each of us has to reach out to parents such as this and "butt in" as my children would say. Often we have to befriend these people first and let them know we truly care about them. Then, we need to let them know that it is not acceptable to deny their children their basic needs. We have to model what a good parent does for their children. Many of these parents did not grow up in a family where their own needs were met. Finally we can direct the parents to places where they can obtain services, education about nutrition, financial budgeting, meal preparation and parenting skills.
However, first and foremost, we each need to take some responsibilty for the children in our communities. This can be done through school activities, church groups, youth organizations etc. It may be the case that the parents of these children are not ever going to change. In that case, we need to do all we can to provide for these children and teach them so that someday, they will provide for their own children. It is never hopeless. We can help children such as these, one child at a time.
There are safety nets available in our society. They may not make any family rich- but families can apply for food stamps, heating assistance, free medical and dental care and even subsidies for child care. Many communities have a food pantry where emergency food can be provided. There are second hand shops where anyone can buy good used clothing at a fraction of the cost of new clothes. Then there are people in communities who help needy families especially on hoilidays. It is sad that with all these opportunities for help, there are still children whose basic needs are not being met.
I am afraid that very few of these parents will ever change. ( Although I personally know of a parent who turned her life around and does a great job of providing for her children.) Where do we start? I think each of us has to reach out to parents such as this and "butt in" as my children would say. Often we have to befriend these people first and let them know we truly care about them. Then, we need to let them know that it is not acceptable to deny their children their basic needs. We have to model what a good parent does for their children. Many of these parents did not grow up in a family where their own needs were met. Finally we can direct the parents to places where they can obtain services, education about nutrition, financial budgeting, meal preparation and parenting skills.
However, first and foremost, we each need to take some responsibilty for the children in our communities. This can be done through school activities, church groups, youth organizations etc. It may be the case that the parents of these children are not ever going to change. In that case, we need to do all we can to provide for these children and teach them so that someday, they will provide for their own children. It is never hopeless. We can help children such as these, one child at a time.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Our Children- Our Legacy
I want to introduce myself. I am a married mother with a family of 4 children. Over the years, I have interacted with youth through my volunteer work with 4-H, school organizations, church and sports teams. I love my own children and deeply care about the welfare and growth of all children. I really wanted to create a blog that will generate thought and discussion regarding the care and development of our communities' youth.
In this first post, I want to share my thoughts on our nation's children. I feel our country's future depends upon changing the direction that our society has taken regarding our children. I see too many cases of people bringing children into this world with little thought on the responsibility that is bestowed upon parents.
It is my view that children's care and upbringing should be a parent's/family's first priority.
As I have lived my life, I have realized that the old saying, " You can't take it with you." is so true. The material things we Americans seem bent on accumulating will mean nothing when we leave this world. The way that each of us can really have an impact on the future is by making sure we do everything in our power to raise children who will strive to make keep our country great. This means giving them a sense of their worth and abilities; giving them a work ethic; teaching them to continue to learn and improve; giving them the abilitiy to love others and most of all, teaching them the value of family and faith. I think that our children are any parent's true legacy? Don't you?
In this first post, I want to share my thoughts on our nation's children. I feel our country's future depends upon changing the direction that our society has taken regarding our children. I see too many cases of people bringing children into this world with little thought on the responsibility that is bestowed upon parents.
It is my view that children's care and upbringing should be a parent's/family's first priority.
As I have lived my life, I have realized that the old saying, " You can't take it with you." is so true. The material things we Americans seem bent on accumulating will mean nothing when we leave this world. The way that each of us can really have an impact on the future is by making sure we do everything in our power to raise children who will strive to make keep our country great. This means giving them a sense of their worth and abilities; giving them a work ethic; teaching them to continue to learn and improve; giving them the abilitiy to love others and most of all, teaching them the value of family and faith. I think that our children are any parent's true legacy? Don't you?
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