Preparing children to leave----

Our youngest is spending her first full week away from home at a summer camp.  Needless to say,  this kind of experience can be hard on both the child and the parent/s.  Whether you are sending your child to his first year of school, camp or even away to college, there are things that you can do to make this transition easier.

Set a pattern of being confident about goodbyes beginning with toddlerhood.  When you have to leave your child, be confident about leaving.  Act as if it's no big deal.  Do not act upset in front of the child.  I realize many a mom will be teary after dropping their freshman off at their college dorm.  Save the tears for the car ride home.

Never sneak out in a goodbye situation.  This will only scare the child and make her more insecure with the situation.  Be clear about when you are leaving and when you plan to return.

Provide age appropriate experiences over the years for your child.  Overnights can begin at Grandma's and progress to trips out of town with non relatives or youth organizations.  Our kids have traveled to summer camps and even out of state with 4-H.

Before a planned seperation, make sure your child knows that you love them.  Let them know you are proud of them and excited for their new adventure.  Spend time with them planning for the upcoming event.  Guide them to prepare. This may mean helping them to shop and pack for the event.  Involve them in the preparation.  Don't do it for them.

Finally, you can make the transition easier by providing a surprise for them.  This could be a note in their school lunchbox or a care package sent to their college dorm.  However, be careful of hovering.  With today's technology, it may be easy to remain too involved by daily texting or emailing.  Use judgement and let them know you are available when they need to talk.

I received a short note from our daughter in the mail today.  Yes- I provided her with an addressed stamped envelope.  It began with, "Yes Mom, I am still alive."  The brevity of the text leads me to believe that she was in a hurry to continue her fun!  I guess I'll have to wait to find out what she did all week.  Isn't that part of parenthood--- learning to let go?