The bond between a grandparent and grandchild can be unique, very special and good for the whole family. There are so many benefits to making sure your children can have a relationship with their grandparents. The grandparent can be a role model and positive influence. They can instill a sense of family pride as they share culture and family history with the children. They can even act as arbitrators between parents and their children.
Grandparents often have time to spend with our children. They may have skills to pass on like cooking, woodworking, sewing, fishing etc. Many of us have special memories of our own grandparents. Some of my own memories include the smell of my grandfather's vet office and the stories on my grandmother's lap. My other grandfather would offer us apple slices cut with his jackknife. The unconditional love between children and their grandparents can provide a sense of stability and security for children.
Many children are blessed with having grandparents who live nearby. But what about the family whose grandparents may live miles away? Visits should be planned into our busy schedules. Technology can be used to send pictures, email and even video chat. Children love to get mail. Grandparents can send letters and then the children can do the same.
If your children do not have grandparents, they can developa relationship with a local elderly person. This may be a neighbor, friend's grandparent or someone at the local nursing home. Creating a bond like this can also help our children have a positive attitude and respect for the elderly. This past week I witnessed the extreme grief of children losing a grandparent. However, I bet they would never trade the time and love they shared with that grandparent for anything in the world.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Expectations are Relative to Performance
I have been reading about many aspects of raising and teaching children and one thought keeps popping up over and over again. This idea is that what parents and teachers expect of children has a strong relationship to performance. It doesn't matter if a study was conducted in the 1970's or in 2010. It is clear that our expectations of children are very important.
Of course our first thought is that this applies to the classroom at school. Teachers must know each student well enough to have a good idea of his/her potential. Then a good teacher will create a learning environment that challenges but doesn't discourage that student. But did you know that parental expectations are also highly linked to school performance?
The question of what level of education a child will pursue is also highly affected by parental expectations. Children whose parents expect them to graduate highschool are more likely to do so. The same is true for students who plan to attend and graduate from college or trade school. Family values regarding education are really important to every child's potential achievements.
I contend that parental expectations are also important in areas other than school. If we expect good behavior from children, they will be more likely to behave. If we expect our children to be caring, kind and courteous, they will usually be just that. If we expect our children to do things for others they will be more helpful and likely to volunteer when needed. If we expect our youth to get involved in worthwhile activities they may join clubs, sports and youth organizations. The list goes on and on and I think the key word here is expectations. What do you expect from your children?
Of course our first thought is that this applies to the classroom at school. Teachers must know each student well enough to have a good idea of his/her potential. Then a good teacher will create a learning environment that challenges but doesn't discourage that student. But did you know that parental expectations are also highly linked to school performance?
The question of what level of education a child will pursue is also highly affected by parental expectations. Children whose parents expect them to graduate highschool are more likely to do so. The same is true for students who plan to attend and graduate from college or trade school. Family values regarding education are really important to every child's potential achievements.
I contend that parental expectations are also important in areas other than school. If we expect good behavior from children, they will be more likely to behave. If we expect our children to be caring, kind and courteous, they will usually be just that. If we expect our children to do things for others they will be more helpful and likely to volunteer when needed. If we expect our youth to get involved in worthwhile activities they may join clubs, sports and youth organizations. The list goes on and on and I think the key word here is expectations. What do you expect from your children?
Friday, February 10, 2012
What can a parent do to help your child's teacher?
Are you a parent who helps or hinders your child's education? Did you know that new teachers remain in this profession an average of just 4.5 years? Many of those who exit the profession, list " issues with parents" as one of the reasons they leave teaching. What can we do as parents to help teachers provide a well rounded education that will prepare our children for life and the workplace? What can we do so that good teachers will want to remain in this profession?
First of all, we need to be partners with the teacher. This means keeping communication open between you and the teacher. Parents should attend parent-teacher conferences. They should look at their child's papers and notes from school every day. Parents need to communicate any concerns they have to the teacher. It also means that if the teacher expresses a concern about your child's behavior, that you listen and consider what the teacher is saying. Teachers see your child in a whole different environment than you do.
If your child gets reprimanded by the teacher, don't be quick to defend your child. No student is perfect at all times and we should accept that it is OK for our children to be disciplined. We have to present a united front to the child by backing up the action taken at school.
When a child is disciplined, it can teach important life lessons. Students will not only need good grades in subject matter to succeed at work. They will need to know how to follow directions and get along with others. They will need to know how to turn in assignments on time. They will need to be able to take direction from a boss with whom they may not always agree.
If we want to prepare our children to be ready for a successful career of their own. We need to begin while they are at school by partnering with our teachers and administrators in order to achieve this. We love and care for our children, but so do their teachers at school. Let's work together for the good of our students.
First of all, we need to be partners with the teacher. This means keeping communication open between you and the teacher. Parents should attend parent-teacher conferences. They should look at their child's papers and notes from school every day. Parents need to communicate any concerns they have to the teacher. It also means that if the teacher expresses a concern about your child's behavior, that you listen and consider what the teacher is saying. Teachers see your child in a whole different environment than you do.
If your child gets reprimanded by the teacher, don't be quick to defend your child. No student is perfect at all times and we should accept that it is OK for our children to be disciplined. We have to present a united front to the child by backing up the action taken at school.
When a child is disciplined, it can teach important life lessons. Students will not only need good grades in subject matter to succeed at work. They will need to know how to follow directions and get along with others. They will need to know how to turn in assignments on time. They will need to be able to take direction from a boss with whom they may not always agree.
If we want to prepare our children to be ready for a successful career of their own. We need to begin while they are at school by partnering with our teachers and administrators in order to achieve this. We love and care for our children, but so do their teachers at school. Let's work together for the good of our students.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Table Time----
I've been reading about all the advantages for children whose families make it a habit to eat meals together. Children who eat with their families tend to do better academically; are less likely to abuse drugs, alcohol or tobacco; usually eat healthier diets; are less likely to be promiscuous; and most importantly form a better bond with their family members.
There are advantages for the whole family as well. Home prepared meals are usually less expensive. The whole family can share in meal preparation and cleanup. By doing this, the children also learn important life skills. But the most important result can be improved family communication. Even scheduling can become easier by going over the week's calendar together.
How can we do this you ask? We have no time to eat together. First of all, it doesn't have to be dinner and it doesn't have to be everyday. It could be snack time after school. It could be breakfast before work. The important thing is to find sometime that will work for your family.
Then I'd suggest this be a time sitting at a table with no interruptions allowed: no cell phones, no electronic games, and no Ipods etc. At first, it may seem awkward and people may have nothing to say. Sometimes it's best to ask specific questions. Rather than, " How was school?" You may ask, " How's your science project coming?"
Family "table time" can be a rewarding experience. I encourage your family to try this if you don't already take time to eat together. Don't give up if it doesn't go well at first. Kids may balk at the idea. But please, give it a try and I think you'll find unlimited rewards for your family and children.
There are advantages for the whole family as well. Home prepared meals are usually less expensive. The whole family can share in meal preparation and cleanup. By doing this, the children also learn important life skills. But the most important result can be improved family communication. Even scheduling can become easier by going over the week's calendar together.
How can we do this you ask? We have no time to eat together. First of all, it doesn't have to be dinner and it doesn't have to be everyday. It could be snack time after school. It could be breakfast before work. The important thing is to find sometime that will work for your family.
Then I'd suggest this be a time sitting at a table with no interruptions allowed: no cell phones, no electronic games, and no Ipods etc. At first, it may seem awkward and people may have nothing to say. Sometimes it's best to ask specific questions. Rather than, " How was school?" You may ask, " How's your science project coming?"
Family "table time" can be a rewarding experience. I encourage your family to try this if you don't already take time to eat together. Don't give up if it doesn't go well at first. Kids may balk at the idea. But please, give it a try and I think you'll find unlimited rewards for your family and children.
Friday, January 13, 2012
But Mommmmm- I need this------
How many times have our children said to us, "Mom (Dad), I really need this!" Sometimes they are talking about the latest fashion. Other times it's the newest electronic gadget. Or maybe it's the most expensive cell phone and/or plan. For middle and upper class parents, it's just so easy to give in and buy our children "what they need." But is that really what is best for them?
I believe that from toddlerhood, we need to teach our children the difference between wants and needs. Toddlerhood you ask? Yes, how many times do we tell the big brother/sister to give in to their younger sibling when they are whining that they need the toy their sibling is playing with? When our children go to school and they see the latest fashions and bookbags, do we rush out and buy those for them? As they become teens, do we stretch the family budget to give our children everything they need so they will fit in with the cool crowd?
Stop and think. How will our children learn to set priorities and work towards goals if we give them everything they "need?" Instead, what about suggesting that they write down a plan for purchasing the thing that they desperately think they need. This can also help to avoid the pitfalls of children growing up needing instant gratification.
You may ask how an elementary school child can save up for their own purchases. Many children get birthday or Christmas money. You may allow the child to clean and return bottles. Children can get a small payment for doing extra work such as raking the lawn. I think saving and budgeting is a whole topic to discuss at another time. The point is, do our children know the difference between a want and a need? Or do we jump to provide every little request that our child makes?
I believe that from toddlerhood, we need to teach our children the difference between wants and needs. Toddlerhood you ask? Yes, how many times do we tell the big brother/sister to give in to their younger sibling when they are whining that they need the toy their sibling is playing with? When our children go to school and they see the latest fashions and bookbags, do we rush out and buy those for them? As they become teens, do we stretch the family budget to give our children everything they need so they will fit in with the cool crowd?
Stop and think. How will our children learn to set priorities and work towards goals if we give them everything they "need?" Instead, what about suggesting that they write down a plan for purchasing the thing that they desperately think they need. This can also help to avoid the pitfalls of children growing up needing instant gratification.
You may ask how an elementary school child can save up for their own purchases. Many children get birthday or Christmas money. You may allow the child to clean and return bottles. Children can get a small payment for doing extra work such as raking the lawn. I think saving and budgeting is a whole topic to discuss at another time. The point is, do our children know the difference between a want and a need? Or do we jump to provide every little request that our child makes?
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
First and Foremost----
What is it that children need???It seems like common sense, but often I see children who don't have these things: food, shelter, clean clothing, safety and love in their lives. How do we get all parents to place their priorities on providing for their children's needs first? How many of us see parents who smoke, drink, play the lottery, do drugs and buy themselves the latest gadget before they make sure their children are provided for?
There are safety nets available in our society. They may not make any family rich- but families can apply for food stamps, heating assistance, free medical and dental care and even subsidies for child care. Many communities have a food pantry where emergency food can be provided. There are second hand shops where anyone can buy good used clothing at a fraction of the cost of new clothes. Then there are people in communities who help needy families especially on hoilidays. It is sad that with all these opportunities for help, there are still children whose basic needs are not being met.
I am afraid that very few of these parents will ever change. ( Although I personally know of a parent who turned her life around and does a great job of providing for her children.) Where do we start? I think each of us has to reach out to parents such as this and "butt in" as my children would say. Often we have to befriend these people first and let them know we truly care about them. Then, we need to let them know that it is not acceptable to deny their children their basic needs. We have to model what a good parent does for their children. Many of these parents did not grow up in a family where their own needs were met. Finally we can direct the parents to places where they can obtain services, education about nutrition, financial budgeting, meal preparation and parenting skills.
However, first and foremost, we each need to take some responsibilty for the children in our communities. This can be done through school activities, church groups, youth organizations etc. It may be the case that the parents of these children are not ever going to change. In that case, we need to do all we can to provide for these children and teach them so that someday, they will provide for their own children. It is never hopeless. We can help children such as these, one child at a time.
There are safety nets available in our society. They may not make any family rich- but families can apply for food stamps, heating assistance, free medical and dental care and even subsidies for child care. Many communities have a food pantry where emergency food can be provided. There are second hand shops where anyone can buy good used clothing at a fraction of the cost of new clothes. Then there are people in communities who help needy families especially on hoilidays. It is sad that with all these opportunities for help, there are still children whose basic needs are not being met.
I am afraid that very few of these parents will ever change. ( Although I personally know of a parent who turned her life around and does a great job of providing for her children.) Where do we start? I think each of us has to reach out to parents such as this and "butt in" as my children would say. Often we have to befriend these people first and let them know we truly care about them. Then, we need to let them know that it is not acceptable to deny their children their basic needs. We have to model what a good parent does for their children. Many of these parents did not grow up in a family where their own needs were met. Finally we can direct the parents to places where they can obtain services, education about nutrition, financial budgeting, meal preparation and parenting skills.
However, first and foremost, we each need to take some responsibilty for the children in our communities. This can be done through school activities, church groups, youth organizations etc. It may be the case that the parents of these children are not ever going to change. In that case, we need to do all we can to provide for these children and teach them so that someday, they will provide for their own children. It is never hopeless. We can help children such as these, one child at a time.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Our Children- Our Legacy
I want to introduce myself. I am a married mother with a family of 4 children. Over the years, I have interacted with youth through my volunteer work with 4-H, school organizations, church and sports teams. I love my own children and deeply care about the welfare and growth of all children. I really wanted to create a blog that will generate thought and discussion regarding the care and development of our communities' youth.
In this first post, I want to share my thoughts on our nation's children. I feel our country's future depends upon changing the direction that our society has taken regarding our children. I see too many cases of people bringing children into this world with little thought on the responsibility that is bestowed upon parents.
It is my view that children's care and upbringing should be a parent's/family's first priority.
As I have lived my life, I have realized that the old saying, " You can't take it with you." is so true. The material things we Americans seem bent on accumulating will mean nothing when we leave this world. The way that each of us can really have an impact on the future is by making sure we do everything in our power to raise children who will strive to make keep our country great. This means giving them a sense of their worth and abilities; giving them a work ethic; teaching them to continue to learn and improve; giving them the abilitiy to love others and most of all, teaching them the value of family and faith. I think that our children are any parent's true legacy? Don't you?
In this first post, I want to share my thoughts on our nation's children. I feel our country's future depends upon changing the direction that our society has taken regarding our children. I see too many cases of people bringing children into this world with little thought on the responsibility that is bestowed upon parents.
It is my view that children's care and upbringing should be a parent's/family's first priority.
As I have lived my life, I have realized that the old saying, " You can't take it with you." is so true. The material things we Americans seem bent on accumulating will mean nothing when we leave this world. The way that each of us can really have an impact on the future is by making sure we do everything in our power to raise children who will strive to make keep our country great. This means giving them a sense of their worth and abilities; giving them a work ethic; teaching them to continue to learn and improve; giving them the abilitiy to love others and most of all, teaching them the value of family and faith. I think that our children are any parent's true legacy? Don't you?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)